God: Batteries not Included

While on a trip, I saw a sign for the XYZ Assembly of God.

I never knew god required assembly.

Now I knew that he was holey, but I figured that could be handled with patches and sealant. I admit that the state of the world makes a lot more sense now. The world certainly looks like something that came some assembly required and was assembled by a creator who also came some assembly required. You know maybe this is why there havent been any great miracles recently, batteries not included either.

Later in a different city I saw another sign proclaiming the Assembly of God. I suppose it makes sense. God is supposed to be something so large and complex you'd need multiple teams working in parallel. I wonder if they have a large assembly bay like NASA's for the finished product?

Or maybe they're not working together; it's a competition! Each team assembles there own god. At the end of the year they bring them all down for a Battle Bots/Robot Wars style show down. Three eliminations rounds starting with races, moving on to lightning-bolt throwing and culminating in a massive arena match (I'm betting on Vulcan).

Now THAT is a way to gather believers. None of these missionaries trying to explain their theology to people who could care less. No threats or coercion. None of the talk that you'll be putting yourself in danger after you're dead. Missionary work would be greatly simplified, "Our god can kick your god's ass. You can watch it live at the convention center next Saturday."