Holiday Season

Christmas season again...there will be maiming if I hear any carols before December. It's a particularly ugly time of year in my family. My birthday comes right after Thanksgiving and just over a week after my mother's; my brother's birthday is a week after and my father's another week which leaves Christmas and new years right around the corner. Luckily I have a solution which will benefit us all.

It's time to follow the example of Judaism and Islam and slide Christmas a few days earlier each year. Christmas decorations up in the middle of November will be perfectly excusable when Christmas falls in the first week of December. Not only will department stores have to fear retaliation for their early displays, but a Christmas every 360 days is sure to provide more sales than the current 365 day period.

The change will also benefit the multiculturalists. For years, Hanuka and Ramadan have been slowly shifting away from Christmas making their insistence on "Happy Holidays" appear even stupider. But no longer as Christmas begins to overlap other holidays.

Overlapping holidays will be a wonderful creative opportunity. Can you imaging Christgiving with the family gathered around to reenact the last supper? or Christoween where children get toys and candy? And the best one of all, Chreastermas! The Catholic Church will no doubt agree when they notice that the two biggest holidays will coincide for one spectacular event after the two-month log shopping season of Adlent (plus the occasional church goer will only have one obligatory mass).

If you think that's great, just wait until we start moving New Years up.